20 weeks – the halfway milestone!

This is absolutely incredible! Baby and I have been together for twenty weeks, can you believe it?! We are half way there! October is closer than ever. Now, some of you may ask ‘what? half way? last I checked half of nine months is 4.5’ … Well, my friend, you’ve been living under a mystery. Pregnancy is actually counted in 10 months (or 40 weeks). Why? Simple… it’s because the count starts before the baby is even conceived: on the first day of a woman’s last period. This can sometimes be two weeks (unlikely); most of the time it’s three or four weeks before ovulation in the new cycle (remember the whole week of menstruation is counted as well).

So twenty weeks… wow! I feel so confident. At the same time of course, my eyes are now moving to the term stillbirth. I try not to think about that at all. It would take away another tiny part of the tiny bit of naivety left in me, if something horrible like that were to happen. Sadly, I do realize that nothing is for certain even now, because if anything happened now, baby could not survive outside the womb. A woman I know from the forumpage I hang out at, a wonderful lady, is going through a rough time just like that right now, and I just wanted to mention that I and the other ladies are thinking of her daily, praying and hoping that her little peanut will make it!

Okay, on to what’s been going on within the past week. Let’s see. I swear my belly button has lost some of its depth. That canyon of a belly button is now a mere riverbed. I really hope it won’t turn into an outie. Outies creep me out… I don’t know why lol

Night before last was really rough. I woke up around 2:30 to go to the bathroom and then simply couldn’t fall back to sleep. My belly started grumbling like crazy, and I was wondering if I should just get up again to get a quick snack, or at least grab the bottle from my night stand and drink some to fill my stomach with something, but I was just toooo tired to move a muscle. And of course the headache that was coming on didn’t help matters. I don’t know how long it took me to fall back asleep. And I woke up still having some leftovers of that headache. At least my kitty kept me some good company, all snuggly right next to my belly. So cute. That cat can be such a dear. She won’t touch that belly of mine anymore, as I mentioned a few weeks ago. A couple days ago she jumped on my desk where I was sitting (she’d usually just jump on me) to get some attention. In the process, she desperately tried to avoid touching my belly and almost slipped during her jump. It was so adorable haha.

I’ve been having some more cramping, round ligament pain only once in a while. Of course there’s still that tailbone pain. I read that this won’t go away until after I give birth. It’s because the baby is pressing on the bone and the nerves. Oh well. Anything for our little bean 🙂 … I’ve been taking some extra supplements lately, which my wonderful midwife suggested. One of them is fishoil. If you know me well, you know I can’t stand even the smell of fish. So I take those fishoil capsules just before dinner, so dinner will (most of the time) mask that gross fishoil taste that comes up when “burping”. The first time I took it, I took it after dinner and the fishoil taste almost made me throw up. Yep, definitely can’t eat fishy stuff – never really could. Yiiiiikes. But this is supposed to help baby’s brain development, so I’ll get through it. My weight throughout this past week has been between 156 and 158 pounds. I’d say I’ve gained an average of 12 pounds so far. Baby must have been on a growth spurt a couple of weeks ago. I gained 3 pounds in just 1 week, then it went back to the steady 1 pound a week I’ve been getting. Trust me, during that time I have not changed my eating habits…Some of it could also be muscle mass, since I have finally found the time to work out in the past two weeks or so.

Soooo, we finally got our ultrasound situation figured out. What a ride that was… I’m sorry but I have to rant a little bit here about our “fabulous” health care system in this country. Since we’re having a home birth, and our prenatal care is through a professional midwife, we need a backup midwife, who is a certified nurse midwife, or CNM, in case complications arise and we need tests and additional ultrasounds ordered and the like. The backup midwife my midwife suggested (because we want to be linked to Jordan Hospital if I need to get to a hospital during labor/delivery) was leaving the office. So we had to figure out who will be taking her place. Finally, when that was figured out, we waited while our midwife tried to get in contact with her. We then learned on Monday that this potential backup midwife first has to check office policy, to see if she is allowed to take us as backup midwife, because we’re doing a home birth. This alone makes me cringe with outrage. She wouldn’t be able to give us an answer until next week. So my dear husband suggested to just call the ultrasound place and make an appointment, and we’d pay for it ourselves. Okay… I called. Well, they won’t give us an appointment unless it comes with a doctor’s order. So my lovely midwife had another backup midwife in mind all the way up in Wellfleet (about 50-60 min. drive from where we live). We’d see her just once to get our gender ultrasound ordered, and then switch to the other backup, if she’s allowed to take us. Well, not so fast. Here is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of: That office would not let us see that midwife unless my PCP is part of their office! I couldn’t believe it when she said that to me! My midwife couldn’t believe it either.
Of course my hormones were going all crazy on me at that point. I want to know my baby’s gender so bad, and I was told that after a certain point the baby may be too big to be able to tell anymore, so I was kind of in a rush here. Let alone our party plans. Finally, the ladies of the forumpage I hang out at helped me a great deal. Thank you so much, you are a true blessing, ladies! I’d been searching for a place that would take us in privately, but those on the Cape would want an earlier diagnostic ultrasound done before they see me. One of them wanted that done after 18 weeks. My last u/s was at 8 weeks… But with the help of those fantastic ladies I found a place that looked neat, friendly, and very inviting. They were fine with an ultrasound image from 8 weeks, and they operate on weekends. A little family business. And in our price range. So we made an appointment! I’m so excited, I can hardly wait.

I hope, also, seeing our little one soon will help me get past the upcoming tear-evoking sadness. In only six days my original due date is coming up. That’s next Tuesday. It saddens me just thinking about it. I definitely want to do something to cherish my little angel. Maybe I’ll get some garden ornament or something and some nice flowers, I don’t know. I just don’t want to push this memory away like a moment in time that has simply come and past, like a rainstorm rushing through. I want to hold this memory dear. There was a little life we created, and it’s still there. I just can’t see it. It’s in heaven.

Baby spotlight: Our little bean measures probably about seven inches – is about the length of a carrot – and weighs about eleven ounces. Our baby’s movements are becoming more coordinated as his or her brain continues to develop. Baby is starting to swallow amniotic fluid now, and since his or her taste buds are developing, and the amniotic fluid changes based on what I eat, he or she may be able to get a taste of what we’re indulging in. That would explain those kicks I felt when eating chocolate by the way 🙂 Baby’s arms and legs are growing into proportion. Baby will be getting on a real growth spurt if it hasn’t already. I noticed being hungry more and more regularly.

All right, here’s what you’ve all been waiting for 🙂 Belly pics! 19 weeks and 3 days at the time the pics were taken.

(click to enlarge)

19w3d

19w3d

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2 comments on “20 weeks – the halfway milestone!

  1. Marcia T. says:

    I am shocked – you don’t like fish? And you live on Cape Cod? Oh well, my sister doesn’t really like fish either and she’s a native. Those fish oil pills are strong but I heard there are some with vanilla flavoring that are quite palatable.
    I love your idea about a garden memorial for the baby. Grieving is important for healing and that life was very important! Your little one has touched my heart and certainly touched yours!
    I’d keep snackies next to the bed so you can roll over and munch at any time.
    Enjoy those kicks!!

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